Saturday, December 18, 2010

Eyelashes


I have a habit that I've had since I was a baby, and my mom says I'm going to lose all my eyelashes to it. For some reason, when I'm stressed, emotionally crazed, tired, reading something (mainly a book), uncertain about something, or at an extreme almost negative emotion that doesn't involve doing much (like crying or screaming) but involves sitting and staring somewhere, I play with my eyelashes. It used to be that I'd play with one eye normally. We have pictures of me as a three year old, sucking my thumb and playing with the eyelashes on my right eye (the top row of lashes) with my pinky, hands stretched across the right side of my face. It's basically a comfort blanket (seeing as the "blankie" was retired when I was 5ish) and you can tell I've got nothing to do, or am feeling emotionally bad when I start playing with my eyelashes.

Since I was three, my range of eyelash playing has moved from just the right eye to both the right and the left eye. Sometimes I use my pinky, other times I use other parts of my fingers (back of a knuckle, first finger, back of hand), other times I throw my arm across my face (right before I go to sleep) and I'll flutter my eyelashes across the sensitive skin of my upper arm. It's all a comfort thing. I don't understand it, but I do it. Mom says I'll end up with no eyelashes some day because I do this, or I'll end up with lashes that have been broken in half, but I keep doing it. Normally I can tell how engaging a book is by looking in the mirror after reading it and checking my eyelashes. If I haven't worn mascara for a while, it's hard to put mascara on and keep my eyelashes straight if I've been playing with them heavily because they're mutilated and twisted around each other. I probably also lose WAY more eyelashes than anyone else I know because of this habit. If you were ever to run into me on a day I was wearing mascara and look closely at my lashes, you'd be able to tell which ones were broken and where I've destroyed others. My lashes are also not nearly as thick as they could be if I didn't do this.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because I'm home from college, getting ready to face student teaching starting in January. I'm looking at a semester with none of my college friends, my close friends, nearby. Both my sister and Michael will be at least three hours away with these friends (as they make up part of the group of friends). My campus ministry will also be three hours away. The family I've created for myself (that God has created for me as a support system at college) will be three hours away. And I'm on an emotional roller-coaster.

I cried at least once for the first five days of being home (and I've only been home 6 days), sometimes it wasn't much, sometimes it was a lot, but part of me doesn't even want to be home. I don't want to lose sight of God's goodness, but sometimes everything overwhelms me. I know in my head that God has planned everything down to when a hair on my head falls off, but at the same time, not knowing what's ahead doesn't help my nerves, or the fact that I'm lonely.

So why did I start this post of with a confession about my silly, slightly stupid, all-telling habit of playing with my eyelashes?

Because my eyelashes are more mutilated right now than they have been in a while. What does that tell you?

If you could pray for me that God would be my strength and that I would seek God's glory in all of this, I would appreciate it. Also, if you could pray that my eyelashes don't die before this is all done. Going into student teaching with no eyelashes would be very ... interesting.

31 comments:

  1. Lord, please save nala's eyelashes.

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  2. I have this too :( I crush and snap my eyelashes into oblivion...If I'm at all uncomfortable, it sets it off and I cant keep my hand off my face. I want my long eyelashes back dammit!!!

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    1. Hi. I have searched awhile to find anyone who does this. Everyone talks about pulling them out but I crunch and click them together. To the point that outer sides are raw. I love the crunching, crackling feel and sound. They are all bent and some have fallen out. Done this since in my teens. It is so soothing to push and crackle them. Your post is first one describing my similar experience.

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  3. I also have been playing with my eyelashes since I was a baby. 28 yrs later, still can't stop. I have a seven year old. She watches me perplexed about why I can't stop.
    I also sucked my thumb for 11 years.
    My eyelashes are like a cigarette for some I think. At least my lungs and liver are healthy.

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  4. I do the same thing as well. I love to rub my middle and index finger across my eyelashes... or either i take my thumb and index finger and rub them together through my eyelashes. Breaking them apart from the mascara in between it.

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    1. I do the same exact things. I will actually put mascara on my lashes, let them dry, and will then start twisting my lashes together and seperate them.. I wish I could just stop.

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  5. i have the same problem still till this day. what would this be called?

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    1. It's a mild form of trichotillomania and comes under the category of 'compulsion' because the urge is irresistible.

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  6. I have the exact same problem, and my mom has been telling me the same thing since i was little. I also used to play with my left ear when I was younger as well. I'm 22 now, and even though I go through periods of "quitting", I always start again when I'm stressed or upset or distracted. When I play with them heavily, the look really sparse and I have to leave them to grow back otherwise I'd have none left! It's an addiction.

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  7. Me too. Its terrible. I have been doing it since I was a baby to. It is definitely worse when I'm stressed. I'm going home to visit my folks and I know my mom will notice how bad they've gotten. The only thing that helps is wearing mascara because if you play with your lashes with mascara on it will turn your fingers black.

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  8. I do the same thing and for some reason I can't stop. When I'm reading, watching a movie/tv show, I do it to get myself to fall asleep and the list goes on. Don't get me started on when I get nervous or stressed. I now have dark circles around my eyes because I do it so often. People think I'm weird because I'll just sit there with my thumb in my mouth, my index finger on my left eye and my middle finger on the right. Moving both fingers back and forth like windscreen wipes changing the pace every couple of minutes. I love playing with my lashes!

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  9. I do too but I have aspergers and it's stimming.

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  10. I do have this problem. I stop every once in a while! It gets addicting.

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    1. I do exactly the same and only with the right eye lashes so me too I can see a major difference of what my eyelashes could look like. I wish I could stop. Any remedies?

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  11. I have no idea what you mean by 'student teaching', but I know exactly what it's like to play with eyelashes regardless of how broken and twisted they are. Wearing mascara makes the issue more obvious to the onlooker. I only play with the right eye, so my left eye is a reminder of what I could have if I stopped. In fact I did stop once for quite a while and when I started again, it was completely sub-conscious and I just found myself doing it, so I could not have resisted.
    Just seen how old this post it. Gunna go find a newer one to see how it panned out. :-*

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  12. I play with mines all day even when I go to sleep.my daughter plays with her ears.just a habit.didnt thin nothing of it.i don't lose my lashes though.i just play with them.

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  13. I've been playing with my eyelashes and pulling them out sometimes since i could hold a bottle, so my mom says. I find i do it mostly when I'm tired or bored or nervous(rarely). It's soothing and i guess entertaining. Haha My mom's friend tried to scare me into stopping by saying they wouldn't grow back, but they always do. Granted my eyelashes sometimes have small gaps or uneven lengths but they always grown back. Idk why or where i learned this bad habit, but i know i cant stop and I'm ok with it. Although, when i was getting my nails done at the solon (acrylic/gel) it helped my habit cause it didnt feel the same and i couldnt put them out easily. All I'm saying is don't worry they will always grow back and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

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  14. I'm 52 and have been doing it as long as I can remember. I don't pull, I just love the feeling of touching them, it's calming and relaxing. Luckily I don't pull and my lashes are still in good shape for the most part. I suppose there could be worse habits. Glad to see I'm not the only one who does this :)

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  15. I have always done this and continue to at age 19. It happens mostly when I'm exhausted, and I often do it without even noticing. My mom loves to point it out, because it's usually accompanied by my mouth hanging open like I'm in deep concentration or something. It has extended to my eyebrows too, I love touching my lashes and eyebrows. And I don't see it as a negative thing, either. It's a habit that I expect I'll never break and very odd yet interesting! As long as it's not hurting me, I suppose it's fine.

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  16. I do the same thing since forever. I do it while asleep as well. I know it because my eyelids feel sore in the morning and because I somehow remember doing it. Im a light sleeper so sometimes it feels I dont sleep at all. My eyelashes are thick, not soft. I like the sound they make while scratching them between my thumb nail and my eyelid. I do it to both eyes so no preference. My eyelashes are always half lenght so I have gotten used to wearing a mask to go to sleep. What happens after is out of my control.

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  17. At 20 years old I do this and it is almost always accompanied by my left thumb in my mouth and my first finger stretching up to whatever eye has better feeling lashes at that point in time. I've been doing it literally since I was born my mom has pictures of me a week out of the womb messing with them and sucking my thumb it's crazy but whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  18. I can’t believe this, and here I thought I was the only weirdo on this one planet , I play with mine a little bit differently though, I literally play with the hair under my nails , which is also very damaging to them, I’ve done this since I was a little girl, my grandma calls it “playing violin” , these past few days I’ve been so stressed that I literally wake up in the middle of the night to play with my eyelashes .. I’m terrified for the life they have left on my eye balls if things keep going this way, your message has spoke to me in so many ways, I’ve decided I’m doing a fast, every time I want to touch my eyelashes, I will first say a prayer. If you have time, please pray for this silly addiction to go away 😁♥️ You have posted this quiet a while ago and by now I imagine you’re an amazing teacher

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  19. I'm a 41 year old man and I have been playing with my eyelashes for as long as I can remember. It is so much a part of me that I don't even think about it anymore. It's not something I'm ashamed of but I really don't do it in public. Most of the time it's something that soothes me before sleep. My ring finger and my thumb are preferred. I love the feeling of a single lash running along the subtle grooves of my fingertips. None of us is wrong for this however it is interesting that others have this ability. Love y'all and keep playing.

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  20. I've been doing this since I was 13, I'm 14 now and I like the clicking feeling and I can't stop.

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  21. I've been doing this since I was 13, I'm 14 now and I like the clicking feeling and I can't stop.

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  22. im 19 and i dont even know how long ive been doing this. i find it really calming an relaxing. i do it all the time an i dont mind it at all. these comments are awesome an im so amused now. like that comment said ^^^ you probably are a great teacher!

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  23. wow!! im amazed omg. i really thought i was the only one who did this and now im so happy im not! im 19 & i dont know how long ive been touching my eyelashes. i like the feeling of my lashes on my fingers. it is really calming and relaxing to me as well. this is awesome n im amused by all the comments.

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  24. I’ve been doing this since I was 13 and I’m 25 now and I just started back doing it. I have to wear false lashes, mascara or get lash extension to keep me from messing with them

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  25. currently doing it while reading the comments, i'm 26 and i've been doing this since i was 11, it hits different when you have serious stuff to do, also every finger feels different too lol

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  26. I can't stop.doing this and it's hard

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