Wednesday, June 17, 2009
lessons learned, part etc.
Many times I feel like God is trying to teach me something. For the past two years now, I felt like God has taught me in blocks. They normally go in chunks of school years and summers. It's strange, really, but exciting.
My first year at college was all about me learning that God is really bigger then anything I can throw at Him. I had to find a new church, a new "family", a new campus ministry, new friends, and while all that seemed overwhelming, God took care of every single one of those details, and He did them in perfect timing. I can look back on that school year and say that I grew in God through what I learned that year.
That first summer home was spent on communication with my family, with my parents, and through re-learning how to communicate with my parents, God taught me how important the unit called "family" was. Without my family, without my parents and all the support I've gotten through this unit, I wouldn't have gotten where I am today. Thank God for His gracious support through my family.
My second year at college was all about relationships. It's as if God said, "You figured out that I can handle anything, so why don't you hand me your relationships?" About half way through the fall semester, I broke my finger, and couldn't play violin, or anything except very feeble piano, for about 6 or 7 weeks. During this time, I had an identity crisis, because I'd always (for at least 10 years) been "the violinist", and now I couldn't play. I even got to the point where I was asking the question, "If I died tonight, would anyone, besides my family, miss me past the first week?" And then I realized, through talking with my RUF leader that if I was putting that much of my identity into my violin, that was that much identity not being placed in God. I needed to find my identity in Him, and Him only, because He is the one who gave me my talent for musical instruments to begin with!
Also, that year, I had a slight panic attack because I liked a guy and knew he wasn't going to like me back, and as per Hana, I couldn't figure out what to do about it, when it was kinda like, "let's sit back and enjoy the ride, see where it goes, and while we're at it, maybe we'll pursue God in the meantime." God was gracious an honored my feeble attempts to pursue Him, and one night in March, knocked on the door of my heart and was like, "You don't need a knight in shining armor! Duh! I'm your knight! I've been here since the beginning, just waiting to sweep you off your feet! I rescued you from a dragon." It was amazing, because that night, I was able to say for the first time in my life that I was happy being single, and it wasn't because I didn't have a crush, but it was because God, Jesus, was/is my bridegroom.
I can already tell that this summer, God is teaching me about worship. What it means to truly worship Him with everything that I do, whether in word or in deed. As further proof of this, the theme of my Christian string camp this summer is "worship through the ages" and what it means to worship God with everything that you do. It's so exciting! I can't wait until God gets to the punchline!
Over and out