Saturday, February 7, 2009
It's probably a good thing that so few people read this, because today I had an amazing revelation. If you're sure you want to read on, please do so, but for those who aren't sure where their hearts lie, it might be a good thing to go back to wherever you came from and not bother your heads about it any more. Now for the revelation.
The truth is, I discovered today, almost for the first time, that I am incredibly insecure.
I'm not so insecure when I look at the way I interact with people on a day to day basis, but when it comes especially to guys, I'm highly insecure. I look at the guys around me and think, they can't possibly look at me that way.
Part of me though, after today, and all the glorious weather (it's amazing what a sunny day can do to a person) and hanging out with friends is ok with this. It doesn't bother me terribly, this realization that I'm really insecure, but it doesn't make me happy either. Sure, I wish guys would be good at telling a girl they like that she's pretty. Sure I wish I had a guy who looked at me like that. Will I ever? Probably not. I can, however, do my best to make others feel special and loved. I guess that's what friends are for.